As a guy I have the astonishing ability to be both a gentleman and a shallow jerk.
You see, I know a lot of random facts about a lot of random things. Sometimes I study random books just because I want to know something thoroughly. Which means I have to do a full personal research endeavor until I am satisfied with my own conclusion, and that applies to everything. Most people would say that is a good thing, and see it as very intelligent or driven. Assuming I don't go all Rob Bell on everyone, and create a crazy book that contradicts everything.
You see, I know a lot of random facts about a lot of random things. Sometimes I study random books just because I want to know something thoroughly. Which means I have to do a full personal research endeavor until I am satisfied with my own conclusion, and that applies to everything. Most people would say that is a good thing, and see it as very intelligent or driven. Assuming I don't go all Rob Bell on everyone, and create a crazy book that contradicts everything.
However, on the opposite plain I have a Kevin Bacon(Tremors) style list of what kind of girl I would date hidden in a secret location in my car. Which means from now on, any girl I talk to will be working her way down a checklist that she doesn't even know exists. That isn't nice, but hey. Kevin Bacon did it so what can I do? He's a man's man.
So where does that put me on the scale of Bad Guys vs Good Guys?
At like a Heath Ledger in Ten Things I Hate About You? I'm kind of a jerk, but at the end you find out I'm a really deep guy?
Because I think I'm going for a Ryan Gosling in The Notebook style. Where I'm really awesome, you love me, I love you, but you end up being crazy and I'm okay with it kind of thing.
I might even settle for Brad Pitt from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Where there is something clearly wrong with me, but I'm too adorable for you to not love me, and everything works out fine...in a weird I reverse age and die kind of way.
I thought about referencing Leo from Titanic, but I thought since all anyone really remembers from that movie is the nude scene, and his untimely death; I would rather not.
Why does every love story seemingly end with one of us dying or having alzheimers?
Someone needs to write Taylor Swift and tell her she has mislead an entire generation. Her song should realistically end, "It's a love story, baby just say, "yes" annndddd that you will stop time traveling, because I keep forgetting who you are, and you have to retell me the story every single day, and I think you are slowly getting younger and that is kind of weird...It's act 5 do I drink the poison and you use the dagger or vice versa? I forget."
Someone needs to write Taylor Swift and tell her she has mislead an entire generation. Her song should realistically end, "It's a love story, baby just say, "yes" annndddd that you will stop time traveling, because I keep forgetting who you are, and you have to retell me the story every single day, and I think you are slowly getting younger and that is kind of weird...It's act 5 do I drink the poison and you use the dagger or vice versa? I forget."
Either way, I will be your Romeo if you will be my Juliet, or in this case, I will be your Ryan Gosling if you will be my Rachel McAdams.
Just let me work out a bit, and start an acting career, and get a role in a Nicholas Sparks movie.
Seriously, I can do this. Give me like a week, and we can journey off into our own anti-climactic tragic love story. It will be beautiful. In a terrible kind of way.
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