Mind Heist

I'm not sure why, but my dreams have suddenly gone all inception-y on me.

It's weird. There is this dramatic music in the background and Leonardo Dicaprio keeps bossing me around. Kidding, but it has gotten fairly weird. For example last night somehow I was like a ninja scuba diver. 

Is that a thing? Probably not.

I could swim at extreme speeds and dive really deep like Aquaman on roids. However then I get cocky and forgot to get air. So ninja scuba diver Lance kind of drowned horribly...oops. That one in particular is a tad weird, but the that's not even the meat of the problem. A few weeks ago I had this horrendous dream where a girl I really care about was in an abusive relationship, and I can't even blame it on watching too much TV. I don't watch the Oxygen network. Okay, maybe that joke was a tad cruel, but you can't say it isn't true.

For whatever reason women seem to love shows and movies about horrible things. I suppose that's how Nicholas Sparks is still around. Regardless, the dream was absolutely horrible, and I couldn't shake it off for half a day. No joke. I literally spent between 6-12 hours coping.

Sometimes my life makes my heart hurt.

So like every good awkward person I then had to tell the person that was in the dream. WHY. There is absolutely NO way to say "you were in my dream last night" without sounding like a flirt and/or perv. Yet, I can't resist  not keeping the information to myself. It's a curse really. An awkward unwanted curse.

By the way the dream gets worse. After having to suffer through watching a horrible relationship play out I then was relieved to find out that somehow I was besties with Artie from Glee. Yeah, awesome right? No, not awesome. Somehow Artie has some random illness I'm unaware of and dies. This is like the first time I played  The Sims all over again! :(

So I'm left with the following question I must ask myself.

Dear Subconscious,

What in the holy heavens of baby Jesus is wrong with you?

Have you ever had a weird dream that threw you off?

Anybody?

*crickets*

Where'd You Go?

"Where'd you go? I miss you so. 

Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone. Please come back home."

Sometimes life hands you lemons, and you just look life in the eye and say, "screw this. I wanted apples." Then you hide, because life will find you and curb stomp you into a lemony submission. I was always told that everything happens in God's will and God's time. So that someday regardless of all the absolute garbage I have to wade through I will look back and know it had a purpose.

It's not everything I have gone through that gets to me, or the fact that I made mistakes I can't take back. It's that terrible moment when you realize your life could be an episode of MTV's True Life. Except it's one of the sad episodes like the extreme OCD one; and that's almost as sad as one of those horrible humane society commercials.

It seems every once in a while I think I'm lying. Every once in a while I stop believing everything I say.

It's not that I found out I'm actually a different person, because that would be cheesy wouldn't it? Maybe a tad schizophrenic?

It's not that I realized I made a series of horrible decision I can't take back, because that would be useless.

It's not that I entered a depression that I can't shake off, because I don't actually get depressed I just get tired of going and doing things...it's different. Promise.

I just needed a recovery, and the other day it just felt weird. I just woke up and felt completely different. I cleaned, and I shaved, and I apologized to those that I hadn't seen for the blur of the past 3 weeks. It was like some piece of me had just come back. 

I suddenly understood where I was, and who I am.

Deep huh?

I bet this sounds like some crazy Charlie Sheen rant, and in that case I guess I am bi-winning. Woot!

It's a strange thing, but I'm glad it happened. So to those that actually were upset that I stopped, thank you. I guess I pulled a bit of Dave Chappelle there for a few weeks. However, I promise I set have set some new standards. These posts will be everyday at 6:00PM. You also may notice some changes to the page as things persist, but I'll mention them as they happen.

Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you weren't yourself?