Building Steam With A Grain Of Salt

Today has been a very excruciatingly long day.

Partially because my mom made us do family pictures. Which is never good, ever; But also because I haven't slept since yesterday. Insomnia is a cruel mistress. Whatever that phrase means.

Okay, I sort of lied. At one point I think I passed out on the floor in the middle of my house. That sort of counts. How is it that everything becomes incredibly comfortable when you are exhausted? 

"Hey man, I'm tired. Do you have somewhere I can lay down?"

"Uhm I have this bed of poison tipped nails in my backroom. Just be careful around the rabid raccoons."

"Perfect."

Did you know that you can actually merge your sleep deprivation into an insanity plea in court? You could be on trial for burning an entire town to ground and reply, "Sorry, I was realllllllly tired guys."

I think that's what I'll use for why my writing quality has become so incredibly passe' the past few days. There is a certain point where you get so tired that everything is funny. Then there is a point after that where you openly use a rabid raccoon reference in your blog for no evident reason. I have reached the latter.

I'll be getting myself back on schedule tomorrow, and hopefully start getting my posts up in the morning again. Assuming the rabid raccoons in the corner don't get me before then. Everyone see's them right? Yeah, I'm sure they're real. I'm not crazy, yet.

Although, my Explosions In The Sky/DJ Shadow sleep mix is messing with me. Bass seems significantly louder when your tired, and all the lyrics magically begin to apply to your life.

It's like they know me, bro.

Oh sleep, just take me away.

One-Eighty By Summer

I can't seem to keep myself awake anymore. I find myself walking in that bland gray reality in between sleep and utter exhaustion a lot lately. That crazy false reality where everything is either hilarious or terrible. You are either laughing with your friends about absolutely nothing, or fighting back the urge to hit an inanimate object when you're alone.

I try and not hit things though, because I have more respect for the people and things around me than Chris Brown. Ouch. That was rude, but it's okay because now he is getting paper!

Don't hit me Chris Brown.

I can't sleep anymore, because I don't like having to wake up. Not because hitting the snooze button is an incredibly hard task, but because when my day is almost over, when I should be getting in bed, everything makes perfect sense. My entire life seems to be a puzzle that has been solved, until I fall asleep. It's like a terrible Fox TV series that they won't cancel. At the end of the show everything pulls together only to start all over again next week.

So as an ode to the problems keeping me from sleep, this one is for you.

I can't change what I've done, but I am not changing who I am.
I've just been a guy making the same mistakes over and over again,
but it ends now.

You say, "live up to your first impression."
Well, my best side was your worst invention.
Why can't you live without the attention?

I will never make another promise with you in mind.

You Know How I Do

What defines awkward? Urban dictionary used the following: Walking by a homeless person on the way to a coinstar machince. Or having your roommate walk in on you while you are making out with yourself in the mirror, moaning, and saying in a deep, sexy, voice: "oh, baby."

Both of those are legitimately on the site, and are grand examples of the wonderful world of awkward.

I find myself in these situations quite often. I would love to say it's just because I'm a weird person, but it isn't. It's because everyone I am friends with is, at the least, equal with my level of awkward. It's not our fault..we were born that way!

I tend to be that guy that can carry on a great conversation, but then is completely unaware of how to appropriately escape the social encounter. So, I do what any awkward person would do. I start a sentence that sounds like an excuse to leave, but then I get nervous about lying, and just kind of slur off into mumbling, which makes the other person significantly less comfortable with the circumstances, then when I have thoroughly ruined what was probably a great conversation, I wave and run.

Seriously, that happens. It is less of a 'run' and more of a brisk power walk though to be honest.

So how should we handle this social faux pas? Should we all act like normal people, and try and move past our shady awkward past?

Nay, I say. Embrace the awkward!

Go hug a stranger.
Bring up inappropriate topics in conversation at your next dinner party.
Break out into a slow clap the next time you are in a crowded Starbucks.

Enjoy the beauty that is being 'that guy/girl' at every event your friends or family host.

Because together we can make this world so awkward that even Kristen Stewart looks comfortable in a public forum. Yes, I went there.

Kristen, we're sorry but the awkward is ours.
I mean Popcorn.
I mean uhhh.
Bye...
*brisk power walks away*

The Taste of Ink

Writing is an interesting thing. They say that people write because writing always expresses your emotions better than you ever could verbally. So I guess my incessant blogging is more of a homage to everyone that reads it, than mindless ranting. Yeah, I'll go with that.

It's incredible to me that so many people actually enjoy it though; Considering my senior newspaper/editing teacher told me I sucked. However, I'll take that for what it is. I was quite the stupid teenager my senior year. What with me being the head quarterback, and dating the lead cheerleader, I was pretty stuck up. Okay, so maybe that was only half true. I thought about playing football...once..in junior high, and my girlfriend wasn't head cheerleader. She was pretty cool though. Until she broke my heart like a really bad episode of Dawson's Creek.

Kidding, of course. It was more of a 7th Heaven type affair.

I just want people to know that I appreciate you reading this nonsense, and I hope that amongst the randomness you can pull out some sort of lesson from my failures and experiences. I know that I don't always write with a goal in mind, as you may have noticed by now. I kind of just sit here for hours staring at a blank screen, and it then it just happens. I'm like the Criss Angel of blogging. 

Now you don't see it, now you do. Seriously, I'm levitating right now. Trust me.

Life is an amazingly interesting journey. Where I am now is not where I ever would have expected to be even just a year ago. Much like a Mastercard commercial, "Stack of paper-1.25$, Uniball pen-1.00$, someone reading the useless junk you create with the previous items-priceless."

I love you guys. I apologize if sometimes these take you to the place where you end yelling, "what the 'F' David Blaine!"

But as long as your alive and care. I promise I will take you there.