Love Rhymes With Hideous Carwreck

In the beginning there was a man and a woman, and everything was awesome for a while;
And then it wasn't.

I'm currently enjoying the phase of my life that only a small percentage of people really get to take part in; The "everyone is getting married except for me" phase. Which is interesting considering my compilation of past relationships. Maybe I should have bought more roses, and been less witty and charming. Or exchanged all of my writing for a medical degree. That would probably help. Sarcasm probably isn't helping me here is it ladies?

I evidently suffer from a debilitating disease called "wildly overly romantically minded."
Also called WORM, but I like saying the whole thing because of the ly's.
I was even recently informed that if I dated someone like myself we would never get anything done.
Which is possibly true, but dang that would be an interesting mix of awesome.

We would practically be a rainbow frolicking through a field of happiness-filled-lollipops on unicorns.
Enjoy that mental image.

I just for once want to get to do car karaoke with someone besides Franklin. Not that that isn't loads of fun, but I feel a soprano would add some nice tone. Especially when we are trying to dual vocal Remembering Sunday by All Time Low. We love the song, but we sound incredibly gay, and that also isn't helping me here.

Maybe I can find someone that thinks my vast taste in music is a positive trait, and they won't judge my Blink-182 to Ke$ha to The Band Perry playlist. There is nothing wrong with it! It's called Punkapopatry.

However, I'm okay with whatever. I can always just be like House and snap, and drive my car into one of my ex's houses in a fit of rage.

When I asked a friend what went wrong in my prior relationships I expected an extensive game informer style walkthrough. Where he would say, "well Lance if you had just done this," or "if you guys had had a better prayer life," or even "if Jesus liked you guys together it will work out," but no.

He replied with candor,

"You fell in love, jack-ass."