Feeling This

Good day to you ladies and gents. I believe I owe everyone a bit of an apology..I was a tad detained this weekend, and I was internet retarded. The lack of wifi was a detriment to my blogging career it seems. However, it was nice to see some of the threatening texts I received informing me if I quit writing that bad things would happen to me.

Does that happen to Tom Clancy? 

"Make another Rainbow 6 or I will beat you with the toaster." love, your biggest fan.

I suppose so.

With great power comes great responsibility. 

I think the dead uncle of Peter Parker said that, and he was right.

High five Uncle Ben. I'm sorry you had to die in the first half hour of Spiderman.

So, what did I do this weekend? Well, I would love to tell you.

I helped my ex ex (yes two exs' were intended) move into her new apartment.

Is that bad? 

Because I feel like in the scheme of things that comes across as mildly strange.

It wasn't. Does that make it stranger? Dear Lord, I am in some kind of strange inception loop.

Strange within a strange.

It was a grand ole time though. 

I learned that I am evidently fantastic at carrying heavy items backwards.

If that is indeed as valuable a skill as I believe, then I can probably single-handedly take over Uhaul.

It was strange how awesome everyone was to me though. (strange within strange within a strange) Not because they aren't always cool, but because we kind of go way back, and I haven't always been the man I should've been. Not very many families I know are that fun to hang out with all the time. Seriously, it was like I was on some white version of a Tyler Perry show. So if you are reading, thanks for being great.

So in short my weekend was a nice adventure into nostalgia.

I missed it, but in the future I promise to never disappear for any amount of time without a legitimate excuse. I won't go all Dave Chapelle on everyone, promise. However, be looking forward to this weekend's post, because I'm going to Vegas baby. Hello, Mr. Papa Georgio!

My goal is to either get one of friends drunk and married to a stripper, or to convince Criss Angel to do an illusion where he disappears into my pocket. Then I can bust him out at parties, and be like, "Hey everyone check out my pet Criss Angel." Then he would be like, "Are you ready?" And everyone would say, "yes!" Then he would appear in a random photo on the wall, and everyone would freak out, and scream "get out of my picture you time-travelling demon!" And he would eat the nearest camera, because that's what Criss Angels do.

*Sigh*

The awesome things I would do with a pet magician can keep my mind busy for hours...