Who Said We're Wack

Despite popular belief all of the natural good looks and charm I possess had to come from somewhere. My dad, just happened to be the one carrying a lot of the magical traits that seem to have defined my personality.
For example:
I love Def Leppard.
I love women.
I love video games.
And I love women who will listen to Def Leppard while playing video games. I haven't met one yet, but that has to exist!

You see, when I was 10 my dad took me to Target with him, and made me do the most awkward thing a 10 year old boy can try to do. Impress women. Anytime a woman went to the door, pre-automatic mind you(it was the 90's after all), I had to hold the door open. That was it. We may have been there a total of 5 minutes, but I never forgot. In fact, to this day I don't think a single woman has ever had to open a door while I was around. I'm basically Tom Cruise in every romance involved movie he has ever done. Which is almost all of them.

I'm sure to my dad that seems like nothing, or he may not even remember, what with the oncoming mid-life crisis soon to come and all, but it wasn't. That alone, is why I try and be the nicest guy I can to everyone, and why I love to help others. That one day at Target is why I try and treat my girlfriends the absolute best I can, for as long as I can afford it, without digging a financial hole into something similar to our current economy.

What? Women are expensive things.

One time, I had to buy a girl a 5$ glass of water, because tap water didn't sound appetizing enough.
And one time I took a girl to a restaurant where the ticket was 75$ without tip.
Yeah, I'm a baller, or stupid. Probably both, but irregardless.
I would like to think I have become an intelligent respectful young man, and I'm proud of that.

So to the coolest most chill dad I have ever met, thank you.
I don't know who I would've become without you.
Probably a creep that makes everyone uncomfortable in public scenarios.
Probably a social hermit that makes incredibly strange things in the name of art.
Probably an emotionless shell that never actually acts like anything.
Essentially, thank you for keeping me from becoming Keanu Reeves.



I love you.